Peer Pressure

“Take one sip. Just try one hit. What’s the problem? What are you afraid of?” Sometimes your friends may ask you to do things that you aren't comfortable with. Sometimes you do these things just to fit in. You are not alone. Peer pressure is something we all face. Read on to learn more about peer pressure.

Who are my peers?

A peer is someone who is around your age – it could be a friend, a classmate, or a neighbor.

What is peer pressure?

Peer pressure is when a peer (or peers) try to influence, or “pressure” you into doing something that you may not want to do. They may try to convince you to use drugs, drink alcohol, listen to a particular type of music, or change your looks.

Is all peer pressure bad?

Not all peer pressure is bad. It can be positive. Your peers may push you to do well in school, eat healthier, or participate in school activities such as sports or clubs. They may pressure you not to smoke or do drugs. They may encourage you to do something that is good for you.

How does peer pressure work?

Your friends may challenge you to do something - good or bad. They may use guilt, threats, or insults to make you do what they want. They might not ask you to do anything, but you may feel you have to do something because your friends are doing it.

Here are examples of two situations that involve peer pressure:

You're at a friend’s party. A group of your friends are hanging out and drinking beer.
You feel that in order to fit in with your friends you also have to drink a beer even though you really don’t want to.
A friend in your class says “Let’s cut class”. You say that you don’t want to.
Your friend replies “Don’t be so scared, no one's going to catch us”.

Why does peer pressure work?

Peer pressure works because we want to be liked by others and we want to be included. We sometimes give in to pressure because of the fear that we may be made fun of or rejected. Sometimes we just don’t know how to deal with the situation, so we do what others tell us to do.

What should I do when I am being peer pressured into doing something I don’t feel comfortable doing?

Always remember if you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to do it. Dealing with peer pressure can be difficult, but you can do it.

Here are some ways to deal with peer pressure:

Think about your choices – What would happen if you do it? What if you don’t?
Have self-confidence
Follow your instincts (If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t right for you.)
Be assertive

Say what you think

Talk about what you feel

Say no

Suggest a healthier alternative

If you are still being pressured, walk away

Stay away from those who pressure you
Hang out with people whose choices make you feel more comfortable

Who can I talk to about peer pressure?

Go to someone who you trust. It could be an older sibling, counselor, a friend, or a parent or guardian. Talk to them and tell them how you feel, and they can help you come up with some ways to deal with peer pressure.

Written by the YMH Staff at Children's Hospital Boston

Updated: 6/22/2010

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