Thanks for your question. Two of the most common questions we receive are about masturbation and ejaculation. So let’s break this down.

Masturbation

Masturbation is rubbing your genitals and is totally normal. Some people masturbate regularly, some randomly, and others never do. Ultimately it is a personal decision.

What are wet dreams?

The medical term for wet dreams is nocturnal emissions. Briefly, nocturnal emissions are when you ejaculate during your sleep.

During the REM (rapid eye movement) phase of sleep, it’s natural for people to develop an erection. If you have a sexually arousing dream during this phase, then you may ejaculate.

What is ejaculation?

Ejaculation is the release of semen from the penis. It is controlled by the nervous system, or nerves. For you to ejaculate, you need to have correct signals from your nervous system, as well as the correct anatomy (or body parts) and adequate hormone levels.

People assigned male at birth (AMAB) typically start ejaculating during puberty.

So why can I ejaculate during wet dreams, but not during masturbation?

Sometimes people have delayed ejaculation during masturbation or sexual contact. This means it takes them a long time to ejaculate or they never ejaculate during masturbation or sexual contact.

What causes delayed ejaculation?

Delayed ejaculation can be caused by:

• Psychosocial factors
  • This includes things like everyday stress, your mood, or your environment. For instance, you may masturbate in your room, but be worried that someone might hear you or might walk in.

• Physical factors
• • This includes medical problems, side effects due to medicine, or side effects due to substance use (such as alcohol).

The good news is that since you ejaculate during wet dreams it means that your nervous system, anatomy, and hormone levels are most likely normal.

What can I do to help?

Here are some things that may help:

• Make sure you masturbate in a private space
• Try music to block out other noises and for privacy
• Try doing something to relax
• Try using a gentle lubricant or moisturizer
• Try using a sexual aid you find sexually stimulating

If you notice that these tips don’t help, we recommend talking to your health care provider. They will review your medical history, ask you questions about what you are experiencing, and do a physical exam. Based on their assessment, they may order tests or give you medicines to help.